Trying to Live

A 18 year old guy, is supposed to have full of energy and vigour, but me, who is 18, wakes up everyday with zero energy, and no vigour at all. I'm going to school, and do what the world calls learn, but the pure fact is that this things I learn no longer intrigues me and no longer arouses my curiosity. Each day, I am living the same old routine and mundane life, nothing new to look forward to, nothing that makes my life feel fruitful and meaningful. The items that once used to make me feel that adrenaline rush, are either have been forcefully taken away from me, or no longer give me that adrenaline rush.
Many people when they first hear this will definitely tell me that I should think positive and look ahead, not get stuck in the past, and that my issues aren't real issues, as there are people out day everyday trying to fight for their basic needs of survival. I do know all these stuffs that you guys will tell me and ask me to 'wake up'.
I beg to differ. Even though I do have my basic needs to survive materially, I am fighting inside my head every single day to keep going on despite being in the state of despair and me on the verge of giving up. No, I am not fighting to live materially, no I am not fighting to have my basic needs to survive. What I am fighting for, is to actually live mentally, and to keep going on. What I am fighting for is trying to tell myself not to have any sucide thoughts.
Everyone tells me that I just need to hang in there for 6 more weeks and A Levels will be over, everything will be over and I'm free to do what I want to pursue. But that is far far away from the mere truth of me having to serve 2 years of National Service, whereby my basic materialistic rights are taken away from me and have to be earned. Do you know how scary it is and how much torture I'm going through when I am almost unable to live mentally, and on top of that, getting your basic materialistic rights taken away from you? When you see these basic materialistic rights taken away from you and you know they will take it away from you, and you are UNABLE to do anything about it? Unable to fight for myself to be given the opportunity of chasing my dreams, unable to even pursue what really intrigues me, and to top it off, get 2 years taken away from you, and you become a stupid brainless slave, doing what people order you to do, and you even need permission to sleep, need permission to rest, need permission to even go to the fucking toilet when you really need to. I'm not a primary school kid for damn sake, I'm almost 20 in a year's time.

I'm seriously tired of all these and burnt out. I don't know how to live anymore, and I'm really dreading and hating that NS is the next chapter of my life and there's NOTHING I can do to stop it from coming and nothing I can do to change to a different route.